HW 58

          I interviewed two people about their thoughts regarding prom. One was a senior days away from her prom, the other a college freshman. I didn't interview a substantially older person as there was no one available for comment. The first interviewee was a senior awaiting her prom. She seemed very excited and had high hopes. I asked her why she was excited, her response was "Because it's something that I've been looking foward to, and every body else is excited so that makes me even more excited. Also, it's the last celebration that I'll have with people in my grade" I thought it interesting that she was looking forward more to the community aspect more so than the dance or the date. What do you expect? "Just to have a good time, see people that I've never seen dressed up before, and bond with the people in my grade" Again the community aspect is very strong. The one on one emotion between dates isn't at the top of her mind.

         Speaking to the college student, he wasn't as positive about prom. I asked him if prom lived up to expectations, to which he responded "Yeah, shitty" I asked him if he could elaborate, "SOF is a tiny school. We have a hundred kids a class. I figured it wouldnt be much. We pay a lot for tickets. I spoke to other kids at my college who said they only paid about 20 to 30 bucks. We pay a lot of money for something not that fun" The negativity was obvious. He said that the senior trip fulfilled the community aspect more so than prom did. He thought prom was pretty much unessescary. He thought it nothing like the dominant model of prom and thought the only cool thing was seeing everyone dressed up. He also said, "I wouldn't have minded missing it." This was really interesting that he wouldn't care that he missed his senior prom, that to others means so much. I do hope the senior that I interviewed doesn't share these views and gets something valuable out of her experience.

         I feel we overplay the social importance of prom. It is one night that will mean nothing in a few years time. We picture this huge ball where everybody is beautiful and happy. But in reality, we're looking forward to what may possibly be a huge let down. A feeling I've noticed among my peers is the excitement not for prom, but for the parties that will come after. Community seems to be playing a huge role in prom expectations. As for those choosing not to go, maybe because they say it's stupid or it's this huge contest or that it epitomizes teenage stupidity, maybe they just aren't a part of the community? Food for thought.

 

HW 57

I think prom is overrated. You spend weeks planning for a period of 6-12 hours. In the city, and especially SOF, prom isn't some extreme ultimate rite of passage. It's simply a celebration of unity and love. I think prom shouldn't be about the individual, but the community. Another part that doesn't make sense is that you go with a date, possibly someone you've known for years, and dance, party and spend the night together. But for one night only. If you're a boy you've worked up the guts to ask them, and if you're a girl you said yes for one reason or another, but will anything ever come of your one night fling? Prom dates are single-use and single-purpose, they're good for one night, maybe for only the prom and not the after party. Then the idea of the loss of virginity factors in. Do you lose your virginity to the person you've come with? If so, isn't that sort of shallow? Up until now, you haven't had an intimate moment with them, but you share with them the most important experience of love? Is it lust or love? What is the correlation between sex and prom? A huge thing at prom is dressing up, suits, tuxes and dresses. I think these things represent cleanliness and some purity, yet the sexual energy is unmatched. What happens if you have no date? It's a sort of stigma, everyone feels bad for you. Why should they? Why can't they have the same amount of fun as someone with a date? Is after-prom as important as the actual prom? What are the functions of teachers at prom? Why does SOF hold prom on a Thursday? Why do people not want to go to prom (other than monetary restrictions)? Where did the word "prom" come from?

XC-COTD

 I walked around two cemetaries in dowtown manhattan. One thing I thought odd was that gravestones are really boring (no offense dead people) we're supposed to be celebrating these people's lives, right? So why do we put their name on a plain stone slab with some numbers. There also weren't many flowers, as I was expecting. It was a depressing place which makes sense but I think a little more liveliness (no pun intended) wouldve been great.

HW 56

COMMENTS I MADE

Sarah,

Your video was different and actually interesting. Although I didn't understand the shots of people walking in the street-I'm assuming it was added for artistic effect-I thought it was well put together and it's fun to watch a video as opposed to your usual super-lengthy blogs, not that that's a bad thing. One thing I think you could've done without was the first part of the analysis where you explain what each girl said, it's redundant. Also, a few males would have been a nice addition. Nonetheless, good post/video.
http://sarahfrancesca23.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html

Larche,

Your research and explanation of home funerals is well structured and informative. It was easy to read without being too fluffy. A counter-argument paragraph would have been an interesting addition and there were a few grammatical errors. But the fluidity and amount information made up for that. Strong post.
http://larchegnormalisweird4.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55.html

Ally,

Seeing your brochure for a few seconds in class made me want to come to your blog. I thought the idea was very original and I liked that you decided to go your own way with it. The simplicity of your brochure is great and something like this should be implemented in the funeral society. Something like this could be of great use to families who are in too much grieving to research care of the dead option. They could simply pick up a brochure like this and learn more about different techniques quickly, and they could then research further into the ones they are interested in.
http://normalisweirddaj.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55.html
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COMMENTS I RECEIVED

michelle

Jay

You and Rossi went to funeral homes looking for more information and another view on the care of the dead, straight from the people who work in these homes. An aspect I valued from your post was the type of questions you asked the receptionist, because they received interesting responses from this woman. The reason why this project matters to me is that it let me understand why these people work in this industry, how I at first like you mentioned thinks it is weird to have such a passion fro death or the care of the dead. But now I wonder why is it so different from having a passion for fashion or computers? Is it because our society makes us look at this as weird? The only thing that you could've done to make this post even better would have been analyzing what she said a little more or even just comparing it to what you want done when you die. Overall good job!

amhara

I believe that it was smart of you to include an opposing view of home funerals because so far a lot of the information we've received has been for it. It makes sense that home births make certain people uncomfortable because that the memory is alive in your own home which you walk into daily. I also thought asking about people's lack of information on the topic was important. Her answer was honest and accurate but it was never explained why people "don't want to know" and I think that would have been a nice follow up question for you to ask.

rossi

Jay,

I enjoyed reading your post and I liked how you only included the interesting aspects of the conversation. It makes it easier for the reader to digest the information while still showing that you had an enlightening worth while experience. The quote, “After talking to her and listening to Skip and his colleague, it seems that care of the dead specialists actually like their job, which I think is really weird. How can you like being around dead people and grieving all of time?” stood out to me because I feel the same way you do. I think that Skip’s relationship with death is the most meaningful to me because he is actually an emotional person and admits it, which may seem weird to some but I think it is something that will somehow make him better at what he does. I suppose that it relates to “the calling” that people in the business refer to, as you mentioned in your speech. Also, there were also no obvious grammar mistakes, which allow for a smoother read. Nice job.

HW 55

            For my project, Rossi and I visited Lanza Provenzano, a funeral home downtown in the Lower East Side. We spoke to the receptionist who was also a mortuary science student in college. She was very friendly, and it was obvious that she loved sharing her knowledge. She answered all of our questions with great enthusiasm. The place was very dimly lit and exactly what I expected to see in a funeral home. It was fully furnished with classy looking chairs, couches, clocks and carpets. It seemed like somewhere people go to talk about dead people. The brightest thing in their was the woman we were interviewing. She was so enthusiastic about care of the dead and aspires to be a funeral director. The way she talked about it was very warm and I found it really odd that she was so fond of care of the dead. One thing I found really funny was that she subscribed to a Funeral magazine. When I said it was a little weird, she responded, "No way. It's really cool. All the new caskets, urns and stuff. It's so interesting. They have this new casket made for hunters where the inside is totally camoflage and there's a place for his rifle. It's sick! And it's sealed with a key if you ever want to get the gun back." I'm still laughing thinking about that. One thing she told us about that I found particularly interesting was this new method of "cremation" where they dont burn the body, but it into a mix of water and chemicals and the flesh disintegrates and the only thing left is bone. She seemed to be having a great time telling us all of this stuff. She said she wants to be cremated when she dies which is weird given her fascination with caskets. We asked her if she thought that people weren't knowledgeable enough about the care of the dead industry to which she retorted, "People dont want to knowledgeable. They're not knowledgeable, but it's because they don't want to be." Another really interesting thing was that she said "I don't like home funerals. In Puerto Rico they had them, it's too sad. Every time you go into that house or room you can't help but feel sad. People don't walk into a funeral home everyday, but they do walk into their house every day. I just hate feeling so sad every time I walk into my grandmother's house." After talking to her and listening to Skip and his colleague, it seems that care of the dead specialists actually like their job, which I think is really weird. How can you like being around dead people and grieving all of time?

Side Note: We also visited RG Ortiz Funeral Home, a few blocks away. When we inquired with the receptionist she told us that she was busy speaking with a man who was clearly her friend and not a client. I thank Lanza Provenzano Funeral Home for their honesty and generosity.

HW 54

I chose to research Catholicism instead of Atheism because it was how I was raised. From Pre-School to the 5th grade I attended two Catholic schools, and thought it interesting to actually attempt to gain an understanding of the doctrine. Until about 6th or 7th grade I was certain that pearly gates awaited me after I died, but those thoughts vanished as soon as I started thinking logically. I did research into some texts, even pulled out my old bible, haha. I went to my former pre-k/kindergarten and spoke to the pastor about some things. I'm not sure he actually remembered me, which isn't all that bad because I don't know what he'd think if he saw that I was no longer the good little catholic that I used to be.

HEAVEN

For my whole childhood I was always told that if you were good and free of sin you get to go to the majestic place where white gates and g-d await. A huge incentive for us to be good people, is it not? "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" I found it interesting that it's a kingdom, which insinuates some sort of tyrannical monarchy, they say g-d is all powerful, but are we expected to bow down to him even in the afterlife? I spoke to the pastor about this, I asked him what his perception of heaven is to which he answered, "People tend to think too much about the aesthetics and not enough about what heaven actually means. It's not about the pearly gates or angels. It's about the purity that awaits us. We will be our perfect selves living in harmony." Even though I disagree with him, he said it with such conviction and firmness that he made it same possible and amazing. I personally think that there is no heaven. There is no physical or spiritual place.

HELL

Hell was the place no one ever wanted to go. All the bad people go there. I found a great bible quote about hell and Satanism,

"And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand, ¹⁰The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: ¹¹And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name"

Basically if you worship Satan, you'll go to live with him and will be tortured. I found this a little contradictory. If these people worship Satan, wouldn't they want to live with him? And why would Satan torture his followers? It seems to me that g-d tortures his followers. During the Crusades and the Inquisition, people killed (a mortal sin*!) in the name of g-d, the go to heaven, but someone gets an inverted pentagon tattoo, they're condemned to hell? It shouldn't be called the bible, it should be called "The International Book of Double Standards" So hell is this really horrible place with burning sulfur (which means it smells really bad) and flames everywhere, and the ruler is a demonic looking guy,

who was an angel that fell from heaven after defying g-d,

So, you defy g-d and suddenly you fall through the sky into hell and become some demonic sadistic super evil thing? I've defied g-d on many occasions, I never got wings. I love reading about hell, it has great comedic value. I'm trying really hard to take this stuff seriously, but honestly, like really? Come on.

ETERNITY

You live your whole life, then die, and go to heaven and live more? That's my understanding anyway. I just don't comprehend how that could be in any way coveted. You've either fulfilled your life dreams or not, if you have, you die content, then wake up after an indeterminable amount of time and your in heaven watching everyone. If you haven't fulfilled your dreams, well, it's not like you get another shot at it.

"12:2 Many of those who sleep in the dusty ground will awake – some to everlasting life, and others to shame and everlasting abhorrence. 3 But the wise will shine like the brightness of the heavenly expanse. And those bringing many to righteousness will be like the stars forever and ever."

You catch that last part? Forever and ever. Like always. Never ending. The most redundant lifestyle possible. What do you do? Live in paradise the whole time? Doesn’t that get boring after a while. Whether you either in hell or heaven, you’re still being tortured with the burden of nothing to do.

Catholicism is really intricate and requires way more time to understand, even just the afterlife part. Basically, Catholics believe you go to either heaven or hell, live with g-d or Satan forever. _________________________________________________________________________________
*mortal sin: an unpardonable sin entailing a total loss of grace

HW 53

Articles

Zezima, Katie. "Home Burials Offer an Intimate Alternative - NYTimes.com." The New York Times - Breaking News, World News & Multimedia. The New York Times, 21 July 2007. Web. 09 May 2011. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/21/us/21funeral.html.

Home burial is cost effective, greener and more personal. Many people are taking it upon themselves to bury their dead.

Horton, Allison. "Funeral Home Sued for Bad Embalming, Too-small Grave - Chicago Sun-Times." News Articles and Headlines from the Chicago Sun-Times. The Chicago Sun-Times, 07 May 2011. Web. 09 May 2011. http://www.suntimes.com/5226059-417/funeral-home-sued-for-bad-embalming-too-small-grave.html.

Funeral home sued for inadequately preparing remains and size of grave.

Yurkiewicz, Shara. "Medical School: A First-year Student Works on Her First Cadaver - Los Angeles Times." Featured Articles From The Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times, 25 Apr. 2011. Web. 09 May 2011. http://articles.latimes.com/2011/apr/25/health/la-he-gross-anatomy-20110425.

Med student's accounts of her endeavors of cutting up a dead body.

 Expert

I spoke to a man at the John Krtil Funeral home. I asked him what their embalming alternatives are and he admitted that there was no freezer on site and most funeral parlors don't have freezers. He told me that there is no need for embalming, and said they dont push embalming on their customers. He did say however that "You can have closed-casket and not have them embalmed." I asked him why not have an open casket and not embalmed, to which he stuttered a little and said, "Well yeah, of course. You can do whatever you want." I admired his not being deceptive and being straight up, it's a quality I wasn't expecting to see. But maybe, that too is deception that he was being so nice.
I aso spoke to a woman from the Greenwich Village Funeral Home on the phone and asked her if they recommended embalming, she said that she wasn't able to answer the question and would tell her director to give me a call, I told her I'd call back tomorrow, not wanting to leave my number. She seemed to be covering until a superior took it over, fearing she may say something that she would regret or would jeopardize the appearance of her employer.

HW 52

In the last third of my book I present alternatives to the dominant coffins and places of burial in the funeral industry. I introduce the idea of simplistic, carpenter-made coffins and more natural and personal places of burial. I explain the green role of the natural cemetery and speak about how it is more favorable than a cookie-cutter cemetery.

"She thought it handsome, though, and Ed said he'd go back to Pierson and buy her an even more attractive casket made from oak, if she wanted."

"When he and Jane then declared that they simply wanted to provide families with an afforable alternative to the high-priced casket, the funeral director look at them and said, "Oh, it won't be cheaper. We'll get their money"

"'Our goal is to restore the land," says Billy, "and we're using burials to do it.'"

This book wasn't really similiar to any other book from the course, in that it presents alternatives and makes them the driving focus of the book, whereas FFN was a harsh critique of the fast food industry and American lifestyle, Tuesdays was an anecdotal novel with great pathos , and Birth was historical with critique. I guess you could say that Grave Matters was the perfect mix of all of those qualities, it was a little critical, slightly evocative, and gave simple background history. It was the best written of the four.

HW 51

In the second third of my book, I introduce two new burial practices. Both fall under the category of sea burial, by way of spreading ashes and putting bodies in artificial pieces of reef. There are many alternatives to the standard burial and some of the most peaceful and majestic are aqueous. They are beautiful ways of going about care of the dead and should seriously be considered.

"Floating on the vast Pacific, surrounded on all sides by the original source of life itself, Ken felt the smallness of the human condition and his connection to the larger, natural world." p 72

"When divers recently hauled up ten sample reef structures that the state had sunk offshore over a period of seven years, biologists found that each one supported eight hundrerd times more marine life than the surrounding sandy seafloor."

"Hiring a company to take you out for a scattering can run from $300 to nearly $2,000"

The book is really interesting and doesn't have the usual dark tones that come with novels of its genre. It's a very light happy read that doesn't patronize or accuse the reader. The alternatives that are provided are well researched but are not really long and boring. The author gives you the points in an interesting way without out all the excess. It is by far the best written book thus far in the class.

HW 49

Jay,

That was very interesting to learn about your moms experience growing up in ireland. Did her experiences with death over there affect you in anyway when you heard about it? I find it very interesting that she wanted to be cremated for the reason of not wanting to go in the ground. Great post.

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Max,

Your post was detailed and very personal. You did well to ask insightful questions without pushing boundaries. You had respect for the interviewees and your post was very interesting. Next time, maybe, you could analyze the interviewee's thoughts more.

Rossi,

Good post, good work. I like your analysis and application of your own opinions. You went into depth and your interviews were gold. Next time, you might wan't to proofread closly because there were a few mess ups.

Larche,

Your post was great. Really detailed and extensive. One line that struck me was; "we have a set of rules for everything in life, so you don't have to give much thought into making your own decision or trying to figure out what’s right for you." I was bewildered by this, and couldnt understand why your interviewee would want common routine to rule how they cared for loved ones. However you interviewed your interviewees was great and brought out a bunch of great stuff. Solid post.

HW 50

In the first third of my book, Grave Matters, I go over two scenarios on how people with dead loved ones are treated in the funeral industry, and how their loved ones are treated. I also go over one popular alternative, cremation.

"the protective caskets families pay hundreds of extra dollars for are 'routinely unsealed after the family leaves'"

"the intimate familiar setting also makes for a welcome contrast to the funeral parlor Brian visited to handle his father's burial"

"those that allow you generally ask that you gain a permit beforehand"

"the Johnsons are obligated, however, to lease Fielding's "flower van"


The book, thus far, has been really interesting and the facts have been accurate and helpful. The representation of facts and research through stories is a great way to get the reader to actually read and enjoy it. So far, the author isn't bashing the system in place, he's just revealing it with fact and offering alternatives that factually are less evil and less atrocious. I like the honesty of the author and the attempt to show truths without extreme bias. So far, after reading I've made the decision that I'm not going to be buried. I'm not sure what will happen to me, just not burial. Not because of the affect it will have on me, but my loved ones. I want this experience for them to be transparent and only about saying goodbye, not some over priced scam of a funeral.